This is a story about mental health.

There was once a happy little boy in India. He wasn’t known to be very playful. But he did play for fun. As he grew, there was a time when his family had to move to another city. But he didn’t want to leave this city that he was fond of and the friends he made behind. It made him quite sad and he couldn’t accept it.

His new school in this city was quite different from his previous school too. Let’s say, it was out of his comfort zone. There were kids he came across, who behaved very differently compared to kids he had met before. Although all this was new and difficult to take in, he did realize later in life that the experience did teach him a lot.

In his final year of high school graduation, he was down with depression. But he wasn’t a kid that gives up. He knew that he had two choices – to consult a doctor and go for treatment or to prepare for his upcoming exams and deal with this later. Mental health was a taboo in India and still is in most regions of the country. Also, the boy didn’t want to lose an academic year before even finishing high school. No matter the reason, this was looked down upon. So, you guessed it right – he decided to make the latter choice; prepare for exams and deal with his health later.

The boy was able to study, but complained about unbearable headaches as the exams grew closer. He did okay in his exams, but collapsed right after. He was rushed to a doctor the day he collapsed and prescribed medication. He lay in bed for days. He had lost his appetite and desire to do anything. He would sleep and wake up, still in bed, with no sense of time. He later had hallucinations as well. The boy became afraid and had almost lost the will to live. But then as he lay in bed, one day, he heard a voice inside his head, “This is not your time to die. Go live your life” – and he did. It was summer and his mother started making fresh watermelon juice. This was the first time he had something in days. He also listened to some Worship songs that his aunt shared with him and prayed. He felt better soon, but still had mild headaches.

Their family then moved to another city, a major city in the country. The kid would have loved this city, but he felt unprepared because of what he had just been through. So to resolve any unfinished business, the kid’s parents took him, with hopeful intentions, to a psychiatrist in the city. But the boy was put under heavy medication and that itself caused an overdose and several side effects including hallucinations and losing consciousness.

The family then moved back to the city that the kid was fond of. He was admitted to a hospital there and treated. The initial procedure of treatment was to discharge the unnecessary medication that was given to the boy. After that, the boy consulted a psychiatrist on a regular basis. He is prescribed medicine, the next appointment is scheduled and after several appointments, the dosage is reduced.

The boy liked studying subjects like English Literature and Science. He was pretty good at math. But after depression, he had trouble solving advanced mathematical problems and also reading a book for too long. Anyway, he joined senior high school with Science subjects. But he joined after more than half the academic year was over. So naturally, half the lessons were also over. He couldn’t cope up, dropped that year and rejoined the next year but with Commerce subjects. Now, he wasn’t into commerce growing up, so that might have been a bad decision. But he did learn a lot of things which he felt he should know when he’s a grown up – like starting a company, types of companies, economics, banking, business, accounting and so on. Yes there was a shift from being among the top performers to an above average student, he did make some good friends along the way and also learnt a lot of new things.

He was soon in college in yet another beautiful city. College life was pretty swell too. He again shifted his stream so that he can learn more about Economics. He was among the top performers again. He completed his graduation and and stepped into post grads in Economics. It was around this time that a thought crossed his mind, “I want to be free and enjoy life like my friends. I don’t want to have medicines.”

He did feel good at first, but 6 months down the line, he had a manic episode. He was rushed to the hospital and had to be put to sleep with a tranquilizer syringe. Again there were a couple of medicines that were to be taken. He wasn’t clinically depressed anymore. He was clinically bipolar. BPAD (Bipolar Affective Disorder) was earlier termed as manic depression. It is essentially a mood disorder and a patient with bipolar disorder suffers a host of symptoms which differ when they are depressive or manic. It is a treatable, medically uncurable (so far) chronic illness. The boy, now a post-graduation student, finished his studies and took a break year for recovery. During the recovery year, he had gained a lot of weight, which is quite common in patients under psychiatric medication. Truth be told, he felt like a bear.

The following year he decided to upskill himself and the year after that, he started working. He left the job before he could complete a year. Since it was during the peak of Covid-19 pandemic, he couldn’t get another job. He had a minor manic episode.

He later returned to his hometown, where he was partly unemployed and partly self-employed. This went on till around a year and a half after which he got another job.

Being a patient of a mental health disorder is not easy and can happen to anyone. A person with bipolar disorder cannot work late at night as night’s sleep is crucial for them. So that would mean no late night parties and celebrations or music festivals that happen late into the night. Well, that’s only recreation. This also affects a person’s work life. Other than sleep, they are advised to avoid alcohol and any kind of drugs including cigarettes. Not following medical advise leads to severe headaches and probable chance of another episode.

Some common symtoms of bipolar disorder episodes are:

• Severe headache
• Anxiety
• Restlessness
• Overthinking
• Pessimissim (depression)
• Loss of appetite (depression)
• Sleeplessness
• Fatigue
• Self-doubt (depression)
• Foggy brain
• Hallucinations
• Suicidal thoughts
• Increase in appetite (mania)
• Over-spending (mania)
• Easily agitated (mania)
• Overflow of ideas (mania)
• Over-confidence (mania)
• Talking too quickly (mania)

Not just bipolar disorder, even depression, mania, borderline personality disorder and anxiety disorders and many other treatable mental health issues have restrictions for the patient. Often a smiling and healthy person, may be going through a lot. A little bit of kindness and understanding goes a long way.